Thanksgiving is fast approaching and for most that means joy and family and food. For me, on the other hand, it means the last time that I saw my mom alive. She was sick on Thanksgiving 2002 and we all thought that she had the flu. She was a nurse and who should know her symptoms better, right? Wrong! My beloved mom was actually having heart attacks.
Thanksgiving was her favorite holiday. She loved the cooking, family, loudness, and hustle and bustle of the whole thing. She was not able to cook that last Thanksgiving. I did all the cooking but she was not able to eat either…and this was rare because my mom LOVED her Thanksgiving food…LOL…She tried nibbling, but nothing would go down. The rest of the family ate dinner and I tried to take care of momma, but she was stubborn. We had to leave soon after dinner as my kids were in basketball tournament. That was the last time I saw my mom alive. She was 56.
I had vowed to her that if she was not better in a few days, that I would come up and take her bodily to the hospital. My son, Chris, and I were actually going to go up when he got off of work (8am) on the next Thursday (the 4th) morning. We never made the trip…not in the way that we thought. At 7:23am on December 4th, my phone rang. It was my daddy. He simply said “Shorty”,(no I am not short but that is what my dad calls me still), I think your momma is dead”. Very simply put and my world came crashing down. I yelled at him that this was NOT a funny joke (my dad is a well-known jokester) and he assured me that he was serious so I told him to put my mom on the phone and I would wake her. I yelled and yelled but she was gone. I woke up my children by yelling and the devastation began all over again. You see, we are a very close, loving family. I am an only child and am to this day spoiled rotten…just ask my daddy. I called my best friend since the age of 5, Carla, who is more than a sister could ever be! She immediately came over and she and I headed to North Carolina. My children came a bit later with their father. I did all the things that I should have as far as arrangements etc. I remember none of this. What I do remember is washing the very same spot on the counter for days. I am sure I said the right things and smiled and was a good hostess because my mom would have wanted and expected me to be. But all the while I was dying inside.
That was, in effect, my last Thanksgiving as well. I have not cooked nor eaten normal Thanksgiving dinner since that day in 2002. I simply can’t do it. I have tried to no avail. This was my moms favorite holiday. How am I supposed to still love and celebrate it? My family, minus my dad and I, all get together and cook and do all that other stuff. I sleep. Depressed, maybe. Hiding, probably. Missing my mom and always wondering what I could have done differently, YES! I guess that is the thing…what could I have done differently to save her for the Thanksgivings to come…maybe gone to take her to the Dr. a day earlier? Begged her to go anyway…this I did!
My son, Peabo and I actually saw the wonderful Medium, Lisa Williams, in October and asked mom to give me a message. Peabo and I teased that if she came through, it would be for my son Chris…He was always her “baby”! Well, she did come through. She had this message for me…”It is time to move on. Do Thanksgiving this year. It is time.” She then had Lisa yell out, “Chris, Chris, Chris”! Well, that alone made Peabo and I laugh our butts off because we KNEW then for sure that it was Momma. Only MY MOM would let us know it was her by yelling my oldest sons name. I also have a great friend that keeps telling me that it is time to “talk through this” and move on. It has been “long enough”. Well, I want everyone to know that I heard the message from Lisa and I listen to my friend, I really do. I just do not know if this is the year for me yet. I am trying and will continue to do so. I know it is not logical. I do know that she is in a better place, after all, I am a medium and talk to those that have crossed over all the time. I just can’t let go yet. My friend is right, it is time to “move on”. But how does one do that? I am just trying to figure that out. For this year though, I think maybe I will eat Mexican food and read in bed. Next year may just be the year.
I love and miss you Momma. I am so very sorry that I did not get you to the Dr. on time. Rest easy now and know that I am doing my best for you. I will get there, Momma…I promise you this. If not this year, perhaps next…but I will get there!

. Rob McConnell is the host and we will be discussing many things in the psychic and paranormal realm such as Spirit Guides, Angels, Should a psychic tell you when and how you are going to die
, and the differences between a psychic and a medium! You can join in by going to
. The show lasts only 1 hour so you had better call in early if you want to get through
!
! We may all learn something new
!
! Anyway, he was SERIOUS, AND he wanted me to do it on Wednesday…he called on Monday afternoon…I was beside myself. I had seen the show when it was on the Sci-Fi network and enjoyed it so I though…”What the heck, I’ll do it”. So I knew NOTHING except where to meet the investigative team which consists of Zak Bagans, Aaron Goodwin, & Nick Groff.
. I was supposed to be outside so imagine how worried I was about my hair.
.LOL. Anyway, I went and it stopped raining and we hopped out to film (I can’t tell you anything about what we were investigating, sorry, but know it should be a good watch). We started, and the heavens OPENED UP…along with perhaps the loudest thunder and the scariest lightening ever!. Zak and I thought we were struck dead
…and we RAN…fasssttt! By the way, He can run much faster that I can
! For some reason the other guys thought this was great fun
and kept right on filming…
activity. This time without quite as much fanfare from the heavens! 

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